Do you ever wonder why someone who cares about you treats you like they don’t? The nature of our nurture growing up affects who we become. The saying, “Like mother, like daughter” is something we’ve all heard. 

     Habits and behavior are learned and conditioned. The environment we grow up in, will be the structure for the rest of your life.  Neglect, abuse, and unsafe environments are not a place for children. It shouldn’t be where they sleep, eat, and play. People can change, but change isn’t possible without the recognition of a problem. Without acknowledging an issue, putting forth effort won’t happen. Cruel treatment is a cycle.

     Habits are formed by routine. Seeing parents act a certain way leads to children doing the same. When we are young, we admire our parents. We want to be like them. We think they can do no wrong. How events affect us isn’t a common thought. When dreadful experiences happen to us, especially when we are young we don’t find it alarming – it is the norm for us in that moment in that place because we haven’t experienced otherwise. When the realization that the treatment we endured isn’t a common occurrence is when we know it’s wrong. But we don’t know any different when we are young. We don’t know right from wrong as well. That comes with time and experience. Cruel treatment is a cycle. 

     When parents don’t love and care for us as they should, we grow up to become teens and young adults who do the same to others. Growing up has its own obstacles as it is. We must learn how to walk, talk, and eat. Then we learn how to read, write, and interact. Then we learn math, history, and grammar. We aren’t focusing on how dad treats mom, and how the divorce took a toll, until it’s too late. Problems don’t go away. They need to be dealt with properly or they will follow you around for life – not just yours, but generations to come. No one wants to carry luggage around if they aren’t at the airport. Why wouldn’t we think the same about problems?

     The “tough guy” will break down eventually. Even the best and coolest-looking cars have problems. Acting like you don’t care won’t make you careless. 

     For some, maturity is developed through experience and time, while others never learn how to deal with problems and emotions. Maturity is never developed as it should be and they may still act like children even though they are 39 with two kids. No matter how fast you are, you’ll never win from running away from problems. 

     So, society should normalize dealing with your problems first instead of dumping them on your adolescent to inherit. Let’s make taking care of ourselves a priority before taking care of a new human being.