He says, “If you come to England I’ll marry you.” I said, “Are you crazy? I don’t even date American Sailors!”
With her cheater glasses stooped low on her nose, blurring up her eyes, Gayle Gillespie – formerly Gayle Cecchini – vividly recalls when she met her husband for the first time.
“It was May 1964, down at Maybrey’s, at Ocean Beach. I met Charlie on a Thursday night. You know, we got up and danced and all of our friends were there.”
Just the day after they met, Charles is introduced to her parents. Gayle laughs when sharing his idea of marriage just three days after meeting and the two spend as much time together as they can before Charlie leaves on his ship.
“When he got back to his place in England, I called him on the phone and we kept writing (letters) back and forth, back and forth. […] he always wrote with a pen and ink.”
At the end of 1964, Gayle arrived in England to meet Charlie’s parents; she was welcomed to a nearby friend’s house where they rented her a room. For the next two weeks, she and Charlie spend their time visiting pubs, which she says “are beautiful in the countryside,” they go to the movies, and even plan to get married.
Gayle riffles through a box of letters and she hands me one that consists of three pages; it it is dated October 25, 1964 and the last page is filled with Xs.
“I love you very much Charles. Can’t wait to say ‘I do’ […] All my love, Gayle.”
While being over 3,000 miles away and so young, the two wrote letters that proved their immediate love for one another.
“I think we liked each other right away,” she brightens up. “[Charles] was an easy-going person.”
He had seen the war from an early age because of his mother. She was a telephone operator in the war and did not have much time for him, sending him to live with another family.
After their wedding, Charlie was stationed in Malaysia, where in 1966, Gayle became pregnant with their first child, Julie. Gayle shares a memory that stands out to her when she lived there.
“We had an ‘Ahma,’” she says, a maid each family is entrusted with. “She took my newborn baby for the night; that’s how much trust we had in her.”
Years later in 1970, while traveling from Singapore to England, they had their second child, Ian. Then, they moved to Connecticut to be closer to Gayle’s parents and they had their final child, Shelley, in 1975. While getting settled in a little home in Giants Neck, the family was supported by Gayle’s father because, as she says jokingly, “We were poor!”
Gayle mentions how Charlie “wanted a job and he liked to drive” so he began work as a tractor-trailer truck driver when living in the United States, which led into Charlie’s decline in health on the road.
“When I met [Charlie], he was as slim as can be and when he came over (to the US) he had an examination; his cholesterol was so low, it was amazing. But with [his] job, [he did] not [eat] right on the road [and] he gained lots of weight.”
I see her hesitate as she begins to share about the day that changed her life forever. Gayle vividly describes a Saturday in 1990, that has always stood out to her as “a beautiful day.” The night before, she calls Charles on the phone while he is working and tells him, “I’m gonna get my hair done and we’ll go out to dinner tomorrow night.”
Gayle arrives home after getting her hair done and her day shortly darkens when her son walks into the room to tell her the love of her life has died.
“I had to find Julie; I got her on the phone and she [wondered] if it was an accident and I told her he died in a hotel room in Pennsylvania.” She continues to share that he may have woken up “and didn’t feel good, [so he] went to the bathroom, fell and hit his head.” She points to her forehead, “there was a bump.”
She shares with me her strength; 34 years after Charlie’s death but also 26 years after Ian’s death.
“Yeah, you know you still cry about people.” She says, trying to find the words, “I cry about Ian too.” Continuing, she shares how much she believes in God, knowing her husband and son “are together in heaven. I hope to join them and I pray every single night that I die before any of [my] loved ones.”
Memories of the ones we have stay alive through photos and videos to laugh and cry to. For Gayle it consists of postcards and letters:
“My Darling Charles […] I love you very much honey. You will be in my heart forever! […] Forever yours, Gayle.”
“My Dearest Gayle […] I wish I would be able to express myself better than those three little words; I love you. xxxx […] I want to be yours forever […]Bye for now, look after yourself. All my fondness. Love Charles.”
Although “forever” only lasted 26 years for the Gillespies, Gayle holds up her hand to show her husband’s wedding ring stacked atop of her own; forever means forever.