From artists like Elvis Presley to Taylor Swift, music has helped reflect our feelings and emotions for centuries. Recently, the genre of breakup music has arisen from the bunch, and teenagers worldwide use it to cope during breakups and difficult events. Whether it’s empowering, melancholic, upbeat, or slow, breakup music began appearing in the headphones of teenagers everywhere.
It has been argued that this is helpful for processing grief and helps let out emotions before talking to someone.
Mental health specialized music therapist Courtney Biddle firmly believes that listening to breakup music during a breakup is healthy with moderation, because music can provide hope and a message.
“It’s a step towards healing,” Ms. Biddle said.
On the contrary, it’s also been argued that breakup music makes breakups worse emotionally, forcing teens to be stuck in a state of grief without an intent to heal.
It’s agreed that there should be a limit to listening to sad music when in a time of vulnerability and grief. Teenagers need to be able to listen in moderation, recognize when music is no longer helping them, and know when music is leading their thoughts down a negative pathway. Having too many negative thoughts can cause them to be stuck in a state of misery or despair, leaving them without a baseline state of happiness to return to.
“Whether music is helpful or triggering, it depends on the individual’s level of self-awareness. Choosing music that
feels uplifting may support coping, but music that intensifies emotional distress may prolong negative feelings,” ELHS psychologist Christopher Mountain said.
Whether it’s healthy or unhealthy, breakup music has significantly increased in popularity among teenagers. Americans are 59 percent more likely to listen to breakup songs, rather than love songs, according to the Fox Magazine. The catchy but relatable lyrics and the sense of shared experiences deeply resonate with teens, drawing them in and providing solidarity and comfort.
“The heartfelt lyrics from artists like Phoebe Bridgers and Lizzy McAlpine draw me into that kind of music. You can feel them in your soul, and sometimes you just really need to listen to songs that make you feel that way,” sophomore Maggie Mckee said.
In addition to the relatability of music, the physical benefits and bodily responses to sad music can draw many in. The structured patterns and beats with predictability make listeners feel safe and comfortable. Whether it’s singing in the shower or messing around on the piano, our body releases endorphins and dopamine when we listen to music,
making us feel good and regulating our mood.
According to A Good Place Therapy, located in San Francisco, sad music specifically releases the prolactin and oxytocin hormones, which help cope with loss or pain.
For many teens struggling, music is easy to access in comparison to coping mechanism like exercise or journaling. It’s much simpler and less demanding to put on headphones and relax anytime and anyplace.
Although most people use therapeutic music to help cope alone, the alternative of music therapy is common as well. The scientifically-based process of music therapy can occur in hospitals, schools, mental health centers, and many more areas, where a music therapist conducts music listening and playing interventions and experiments, guiding people to explore emotions or navigate past trauma.
“Therapy works with difficult experiences that are too difficult to talk about or handle on your own, and can allow you to express things by playing or writing songs,” doctor of education and music therapist Jennifer Sokira explained.
Music therapy can be a beneficial option to safely and healthily use music to cope and heal, and is recommended by
therapists themselves.
“I believe that music therapy is beneficial for anyone- especially teenagers. They have so much on their plates, and need a creative outlet, whether it’s with the helping hand of Taylor Swift or Kanye West,” Ms. Biddle said.
Using breakup music to cope can be significantly healthy, but needs to have moderation. Even if you’re attracted to
the catchy and heartfelt tune, it’s not healthy to let the negative thoughts consume you. If things are becoming worse, instead of healing and feeling more peaceful, music therapy with a licensed therapist might be safer and more effective. If you or someone you know is struggling with expressing mental health problems, reach out to a music therapist, who can provide music services that help you feel validated and comfortable.
